Harbor Country Living

Phil and Janeane Dover

Activity Junkies
Symptoms and Remedies

They recognize that their hectic lives need some relief, and escape to Harbor Country to break the cycle of always having to "Do" something. The operative word is "DO". Although "doing" is not a requirement when they come here, they now realize they can give themselves permission to make no demands on themselves and do nothing if they want to.

These are former "activity junkies" that have put their finger on what time off really means. Admittedly, their definition of a vacation was once a back breaking schedule of driving, shopping, sight seeing, jet skiing, boating, theme park riding, fighting more traffic, more shopping, hurry up and get back to the room to shower and change just in time for the evening dinner and show. Quite often they end up returning from vacation even more exhausted than when they left.

Enter Phil Dover, a 38 year old financial analyst at a major Chicago banking institution. "I've been coming to Union Pier in Harbor Country for over 5 years and was attracted by the quaint natural beauty, the dunes, and the short drive from Chicago" says Phil, reflecting on his metamorphosis over the last few years. "We often thought of vacationing at beaches in California, but my wife Janeane and I wanted to go somewhere where we felt at home, just a simple quiet place to go where I don’t have to think, or 'process' anything."

Making Choices
At one point Phil was the upwardly mobile type that chased all the popular attributes of success and need for recognition, along with the tension, pressure, impatient at waiting in lines, and quickly careening towards burnout. It's at this point where Phil made the realization that there was more to life than chasing these outward trophies of playing the game. That's when he found that internal switch. The ability to say "No" without feeling guilty about making healthy life choices. He now says "While on vacation, I don't feel I have to impress anyone, compete for anything, be 'first in line' for anything. If I have to wait an extra 5 minutes at Oinks, [ice cream parlor in New Buffalo] I'm fine with that. I've learned to leave all the work, laptops, pda's and hype behind. The cell phone comes only for emergency use. Disengaging, truly disconnecting, means consciously leaving behind the aggressive, impatient and adrenaline charged behavior as well. When I'm out here in Union Pier, I see other vacationers that remind me of how I was, and feel like I want to shake some sense into them. In a way, I feel sorry for them"

Being Spontaneous
The Dovers have made the transition from planning every detail, stop, and nuance of their vacation to one of freedom from structure, restrictions and time limits. "Its about being spontaneous, not making any demands on what to do, where to go. It's a lot of fun to get up in the morning and just ramble the time away. It's about the experience, finding a healthful respite of peace and quiet, not just finding something to do."

Prepare for Culture Shock
"Now I know what to expect when I go to Harbor Country… nothing, except simple tranquility and some culture shock. For the first few hours after arriving, one may experience real withdrawal symptoms like anxiety and the urge to get up and go. It's important to recognize it for what it is and not give into it. This is part of the transition of leaving behind a fast paced, competitive, and stressfully charged environment to one of laid back simplicity, where no one cares what you wear, what you drive, or what you do for a living.. no pressure to 'see and be seen'. I like to stay at a place that isn't pretentious, surrounded with down to earth people. Enjoy the experience, savoring the moment – that's what it's about. That's what is truly relaxing".

Phil, like others, have found that learning to relax is an acquired skill, particularly for those who are no longer in denial and admit they are wound up tighter than a drum. Thankfully, many have found very good remedies. The following resource links provide helpful tips and references to additional resources:

Relaxation is a skill that can be perfected

The importance of relaxation

Stress relieving strategies for the workplace

Workaholics Use Fibs, Subterfuge to Stay Connected on Vacation


Previous editions of Harbor Country Living are in the Archives.

May 2004 - Editorial Staff
Copyright © 2004 Harbor Country Chamber of Commerce – may not be copied or reproduced without expressed written permission.